Tips

20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 (Part Two)

/ makenakirsten / 2 Comments

To count down the weeks until I turn 20, I decided I would share with you 5 of the 20 things I’ve learned before turning 20. Check out the first five here if you haven’t already, and be sure to follow and come back on Monday for the next five things.

6. You are allowed to put yourself first.

I constantly put someone else’s needs before my own. Whether it be my friends, my boyfriend, or even a classmate, I always find myself placing my own personal needs and wants on the back burner. This is just a recent thing that I am still working on, but I am reminding myself that it is okay to have time set aside just for me. It is okay to not set your whole life around someone else’s schedule. If people want to see you badly enough, they will work with you to find a common time. Of course, relationships and friendships take work and a balance of give and take. However, make sure you aren’t the only one giving. It needs to be a balance. Put yourself first. It really is okay.

7. Just because someone is better, does not make you bad.

I don’t know if this is a teenager thing or a girl thing, but I constantly compare myself to others. Not just my hair, my body, my makeup, but my work, my talent, and my grades are all nothing if they aren’t the best, and therefore better than everyone else. I constantly hear myself saying things like, “Well, they are an amazing photographer, so I must not be good.” Just because someone is more talented than you does not mean you are not talented. Don’t define your self worth based on other’s success.

8. Speak up.

It is okay to say what you mean. You are allowed to tell people what you want and how you want to be treated. Of course, you should do it nicely, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover either. If you want to go to a specific place for dinner, speak up. If you want more time with your boyfriend, tell him. Don’t go through life unhappy because you didn’t want to be an inconvenience. This is your life, and you deserve to live it your way.

 9. Friends change.

The people you are best friends with in high school may not be your best friends in college, even if you go to the same school. This does not mean you will despise each other and never see each other, and it does not mean you are no longer friends at all. Friendships change and people change, but that doesn’t make your bond weaker. Who knows, maybe you will become closer with people you barely knew in high school, or you will make new friends. No matter what happens, friendships change, and that is okay.

10. It is okay to ask for help.

You can not do everything yourself. I am one of those people that loves to be able to do everything by myself. I move my room around, wash my car, make appointments and shoot and edit photos of myself all on my own. I don’t like asking for help because it means admitting that I have to rely on other people. However, I know that it is okay for me to ask others for help. There is no way I can do everything all on my own, and it is okay for me to learn from others by asking for their help.

I hope you learned something new from these tips. If you would like to read more, be sure to follow for an alert letting you know when I’ve posted again, or tune in next Monday for another 5 things I’ve learned before turning 20.

20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 (Part One)

/ makenakirsten / 3 Comments

My 20th birthday is coming up in less than a month, so for the next four Monday’s, I am going to share five things I have learned before turning 20 years old, which will add up to 20 things. I hope you enjoy these little pearls of wisdom, and be sure to follow to make sure you don’t miss out on the next three parts of this series.

1. Don’t play the victim.

I’ve heard my parents say this frequently through out my life, and it is something I need to remember while I enter my 20s. Take responsibility for your actions, no matter what it is. If you walk into a door frame and stub your toe, it is your fault, not the door frame’s fault. If you decide to skip class and miss an in-class assignment, the zero you receive is your fault, so take responsibility for your choices and actions. You are not a victim of your circumstances.

2. It is okay to say no.

You are allowed to say no to something someone asks you to do. You do not have to do everything someone asks of you. It is perfectly okay for you to not do that favor for your friend, and it is okay for you to back out on a preplanned event in order to take care of yourself or your mental health. You can not do everything, and it is okay to prioritize yourself before the things others ask you do to for them.

3. You will miss your family (even if they drive you crazy.)

We all love our families, but family can also drive you crazy. You may think you’ll be glad to be out in the world on your own, but you will miss your mom telling you to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and your dad cutting up fruit for you in the morning.

4. Experiences are better than things.

I’m not saying buying things isn’t great, trust me, I like shopping. However, what I have learned is that I would rather spend my money on a concert I can experience with my friends rather than buying those expensive Nike shoes at the mall. Chances are, those shoes won’t last very long. You may grow out of them, they may soon be out of style, or you may just wear them so much they fall apart. Regardless, you’ll probably hold the memory of the concert closer to your heart than the memory of those shoes.

5. School is not the most important thing.

I know, sounds crazy to say, especially coming from someone who works very hard for her grades, but school is not the most important thing. While you should work hard to do well in everything you do, you should not let your education take control of your life. There will be times where you can afford to make sacrifices, like taking a break from studying for a quiz in order to grab coffee with a friend you barely see, and you should take those chances.