This is the third part of what will be a four part series on 20 things I have learned before turning 20. If you haven’t read the first two parts of the series, listing 1-5 and 6-10, be sure to check those out. Also, don’t forget to follow so you don’t miss the final five going up next Monday!
11. It is okay to not be okay.
You are not going to be okay all the time. We will all have our bad days, weeks months, or even years (can you hear the “Friends” theme in your head?), and that is completely okay. You don’t have to pretend you are okay all the time. Also, under the same umbrella, if you are not doing too well, please seek help. There is no shame in going to see a therapist or a counselor. It can really help you think things out and process, and the trained mental health professionals can give you tools to use when you aren’t able to have access to help from other people.
12. Adapt and adjust.
Not everything is going to go to plan all the time. I am someone who plans things in my head all the time, and when things don’t go exactly as I expect, I tend to get a little frustrated. When I was in health class my freshman year of high school, my health teacher told us that we need to be able to adapt and adjust. Whether it may be a new job, a daily plan, a routine, or a move to a new place, we need to know how to adapt and adjust to our situations and surroundings.
13. Friendships (and relationships) are a two-way street.
Friendships and relationships require give and take. Don’t be the only one giving in any relationship, whether platonic or romantic, but also don’t forget you shouldn’t be just taking either. Relationships are a balance. Somedays you may give more than you take, and others you may take more than you give. However, if you feel you are always giving and they are never giving you anything in return, maybe speak to them about it, and if nothing improves, maybe let that relationship fade.
14. It is okay to cut people out of your life.
Cut them out. (I tried to think of a nicer way to say this, but I think this is common language now, so I will stick with it for now.) I have said before that friendships fade and change, and that is true. However, when, in reference to #13, a relationship is always more give than take, and you aren’t getting what you want or need out of the relationship, it is time to let that person go. You don’t have to be rude about it, but maybe say no when they ask you to do something for them, or stop hanging out with them as much. If you are constantly being dragged down by someone, cut them out. If someone is using up all of your energy and never building you up, cut them out. If you do so much for someone and they never do anything in return, cut them out. If they can never be happy for you when you are finally happy, cut them off. It sounds terrible and mean, but you don’t have to be rude about it, please be polite! You just need to realize what you need out of life, and if this person isn’t a good person to have around, you need to let them go, and move on with your life.
15. Not everyone wants your advice.
I know this is pretty silly to say, especially considering this list of 20 things are basically all advice from my life, but it is something I have come to realize recently. I am at a different place in my life than a lot of people my age. I have researched heavily what I want and what I am doing, and I have gone through things that other people I know haven’t experienced yet. I tend to offer advice to people that don’t necessarily want it on a fairly regular basis. Of course, I never mean to overstep or be rude, but if I know that a certain school is over twice as expensive as the one I am currently attending, I am going to caution my friend, or if I know that it is going to rain tomorrow and there is a photoshoot planned, I will give them a heads up. What I have to realize is, some people just need to do this on their own. I have conversations about these things with my mother frequently. I just want to help others, but to them, it seems as though I am an annoying know-it-all that just wants to prove she’s better than everyone else, which is not true! I just love my friends so much that I don’t want them to have to struggle to figure things out on their own. However, I need to realize that people need to figure things out for themselves, and they don’t always want my help or advice.
That is all for this week’s edition of 20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20. Don’t forget to check out Part One and Part Two, and follow to make sure you don’t miss the fourth and final part coming out next Monday!