20

20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 (Part Four)

/ makenakirsten / Leave a comment

This is the final part of my 20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 series! If you missed Part One, Two, or Three, read those first, and don’t forget to follow this blog, Capturing College, for more helpful hints and advice.

16. Everyone is on a different path.

I struggle to remember that I can’t compare where I am at on my journey with other people’s journeys. We are all on our own journey and have our own struggles and trials, as well as our own successes and triumphs. Don’t compare your phase two with someone else’s phase four. Also, don’t compare your phase two to someone else’s phase one. Don’t go around thinking you are so much father ahead than someone else. You may just have an easier path now, and they may catch up or even pass you. Everyone is on a different journey, just be concerned with your own.

17. You can learn something from every situation.

No matter if it is the best scenario, or your worst nightmare, you can learn something from everything you experience in life. You woke up late and missed your first class? Maybe next time don’t stay up late studying and set multiple alarms. Your friend brought you coffee to work today? Maybe follow their example of kindness and bring them a treat next time you go out, or treat a random stranger by paying for their order at Starbucks. No matter how good or bad a situation is, you can always learn something from it.

18. Love everyone.

Life is too short to go around making people miserable. The world would be so much better if we all chose to love each other. Regardless of race, gender, religious beliefs, sexuality, or any trivial thing that may make someone different from you. Love them. Love everyone. Be kind to others.

19. Take risks.

There are two things I have struggled with since I was a child. One is making fast decisions, and the other is taking risks. Ironically, those two things kind of go hand in hand on a fairly frequent basis. When I was a child, if I did all my chores for the week, my mom would let me chose between a mystery present or $10 or something like that. She was trying to teach me that taking risks in life is okay, and they even help spice up my life. I like to weigh all my options as a kid, and if I ever had to make a choice, I would always try to find a way to compromise and get both things. Unfortunately, you can’t always do that in the grown-up world, so don’t be afraid to take risks. It will all turn out the way it was meant to.

20. Do what makes you happy.

I saved this one for last because this is the most important thing I have learned before turning 20. Do what makes YOU happy. This is your life, and it is short. Don’t compromise when it comes to your happiness. If you hate your major now, you are going to hate doing things in that field for the rest of your life, so change your major now while you still can. If you don’t like your school, don’t just sit there and live through it, make a change and transfer schools. Make this life worth living, do what makes you happy. Pursue what you love, whether it be someone or something, a person or a career. Do what makes you happy.

I hope you enjoyed this series. Be sure to check out Part One, Two, and Three if you missed them. Follow me on this blog, Capturing College, for more content like this, and don’t forget to do what makes you happy.

20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 (Part Three)

/ makenakirsten / 1 Comment

This is the third part of what will be a four part series on 20 things I have learned before turning 20. If you haven’t read the first two parts of the series, listing 1-5 and 6-10, be sure to check those out. Also, don’t forget to follow so you don’t miss the final five going up next Monday!

11. It is okay to not be okay.

You are not going to be okay all the time. We will all have our bad days, weeks months, or even years (can you hear the “Friends” theme in your head?), and that is completely okay. You don’t have to pretend you are okay all the time. Also, under the same umbrella, if you are not doing too well, please seek help. There is no shame in going to see a therapist or a counselor. It can really help you think things out and process, and the trained mental health professionals can give you tools to use when you aren’t able to have access to help from other people.

12. Adapt and adjust.

Not everything is going to go to plan all the time. I am someone who plans things in my head all the time, and when things don’t go exactly as I expect, I tend to get a little frustrated. When I was in health class my freshman year of high school, my health teacher told us that we need to be able to adapt and adjust. Whether it may be a new job, a daily plan, a routine, or a move to a new place, we need to know how to adapt and adjust to our situations and surroundings.

13. Friendships (and relationships) are a two-way street.

Friendships and relationships require give and take. Don’t be the only one giving in any relationship, whether platonic or romantic, but also don’t forget you shouldn’t be just taking either. Relationships are a balance. Somedays you may give more than you take, and others you may take more than you give. However, if you feel you are always giving and they are never giving you anything in return, maybe speak to them about it, and if nothing improves, maybe let that relationship fade.

14. It is okay to cut people out of your life.

Cut them out. (I tried to think of a nicer way to say this, but I think this is common language now, so I will stick with it for now.) I have said before that friendships fade and change, and that is true. However, when, in reference to #13, a relationship is always more give than take, and you aren’t getting what you want or need out of the relationship, it is time to let that person go. You don’t have to be rude about it, but maybe say no when they ask you to do something for them, or stop hanging out with them as much. If you are constantly being dragged down by someone, cut them out. If someone is using up all of your energy and never building you up, cut them out. If you do so much for someone and they never do anything in return, cut them out. If they can never be happy for you when you are finally happy, cut them off. It sounds terrible and mean, but you don’t have to be rude about it, please be polite! You just need to realize what you need out of life, and if this person isn’t a good person to have around, you need to let them go, and move on with your life.

15. Not everyone wants your advice.

I know this is pretty silly to say, especially considering this list of 20 things are basically all advice from my life, but it is something I have come to realize recently. I am at a different place in my life than a lot of people my age. I have researched heavily what I want and what I am doing, and I have gone through things that other people I know haven’t experienced yet. I tend to offer advice to people that don’t necessarily want it on a fairly regular basis. Of course, I never mean to overstep or be rude, but if I know that a certain school is over twice as expensive as the one I am currently attending, I am going to caution my friend, or if I know that it is going to rain tomorrow and there is a photoshoot planned, I will give them a heads up. What I have to realize is, some people just need to do this on their own. I have conversations about these things with my mother frequently. I just want to help others, but to them, it seems as though I am an annoying know-it-all that just wants to prove she’s better than everyone else, which is not true! I just love my friends so much that I don’t want them to have to struggle to figure things out on their own. However, I need to realize that people need to figure things out for themselves, and they don’t always want my help or advice.

That is all for this week’s edition of 20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20. Don’t forget to check out Part One and Part Two, and follow to make sure you don’t miss the fourth and final part coming out next Monday!

20 Things I’ve Learned Before Turning 20 (Part One)

/ makenakirsten / 3 Comments

My 20th birthday is coming up in less than a month, so for the next four Monday’s, I am going to share five things I have learned before turning 20 years old, which will add up to 20 things. I hope you enjoy these little pearls of wisdom, and be sure to follow to make sure you don’t miss out on the next three parts of this series.

1. Don’t play the victim.

I’ve heard my parents say this frequently through out my life, and it is something I need to remember while I enter my 20s. Take responsibility for your actions, no matter what it is. If you walk into a door frame and stub your toe, it is your fault, not the door frame’s fault. If you decide to skip class and miss an in-class assignment, the zero you receive is your fault, so take responsibility for your choices and actions. You are not a victim of your circumstances.

2. It is okay to say no.

You are allowed to say no to something someone asks you to do. You do not have to do everything someone asks of you. It is perfectly okay for you to not do that favor for your friend, and it is okay for you to back out on a preplanned event in order to take care of yourself or your mental health. You can not do everything, and it is okay to prioritize yourself before the things others ask you do to for them.

3. You will miss your family (even if they drive you crazy.)

We all love our families, but family can also drive you crazy. You may think you’ll be glad to be out in the world on your own, but you will miss your mom telling you to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and your dad cutting up fruit for you in the morning.

4. Experiences are better than things.

I’m not saying buying things isn’t great, trust me, I like shopping. However, what I have learned is that I would rather spend my money on a concert I can experience with my friends rather than buying those expensive Nike shoes at the mall. Chances are, those shoes won’t last very long. You may grow out of them, they may soon be out of style, or you may just wear them so much they fall apart. Regardless, you’ll probably hold the memory of the concert closer to your heart than the memory of those shoes.

5. School is not the most important thing.

I know, sounds crazy to say, especially coming from someone who works very hard for her grades, but school is not the most important thing. While you should work hard to do well in everything you do, you should not let your education take control of your life. There will be times where you can afford to make sacrifices, like taking a break from studying for a quiz in order to grab coffee with a friend you barely see, and you should take those chances.